Spring Semester

So this semester I have not been on my game like usual with school work. I am just having trouble focusing, and finding motivation outside of the classroom. First off let me list the classes I had this semester.

[Abnormal Psychology, Psychology Research Methods, Drugs, the Individual, and Society, and Intro to American Government]

Now one thing to note here is my Psychology Research class was online, and I don't like online classes because Im a procrasstinator big time, and not having to meet in an actual class does not help this at all... Not to mention this class involved a lot of researching, and scientific writing, two things I just cannot master...This class was a half semester course, and I ended up getting an 85% for the class but I had not made it to campus to finish our outside activities we had to do, so I got bumped down to a C :( this was the first C that I got which actually counts towards my GPA.

My other 3 classes meet at my local extended campus, two are ITV classes and one my teacher is there with us. My abnormal psych class is by far my favorite, i love the subject and the teacher! I had this teacher my first semester at Eastern for Intro to Psych. She's amazing i love her teaching methods and she is so understanding about life situations. Then theres my Drugs Individual and Society class, its an ITV class, the subject matter is  interesting and something I want to be more familiar with (not because I want to  do drugs but because I am interested in drug counseling), and the teacher is hilarious. My Intro to American Gov class is also ITV, the teacher is really nice kinda strict, she is knowledgable about the subject matter and you can tell she is passionate about politics, in a way that she doesnt shove down your throat.

I have another 4 weeks left in the semester and I am trying to spend it getting my butt in gear. I have one more paper to write for my abnormal psych class and since I bombed my first paper I am trying very hard to make it a good one. For my Drugs Individual and Society a major part of our grade is our presentation, and a 5 page paper that goes with it and I have just finished my presentation and I am almost done with my paper, which is a huge weight off my shoulder. Intro to American Gov is a little easier, no big papers just a matter of keeping up with work and showing up to class.

Spray Tan- Ready for Summer

So I have a membership at Sun Tan City and they are doing a special where you can get one free sunless tan visit any Sunday through Wednesday. And I love spray tans, and im tight on money so of course i jumped at the opportunity.

I was so happy with my spray tan that I went back about 2-3 weeks later and used my tanning points to get another spray tan.

First picture is my legs the day after the first spray...Second picture is me the day after the second spray tan.

Need a change

I have doing some soul searching and I really need a change. A fresh start. I need time to myself. Between School, taking care of Bentley and trying to keep up the house I'm mentally and physically exhausted. I want to pamper myself and feel pretty and confident. And having no money for anything even bills is really stressing me out. All I wanna do is sleep and eat. I'm putting on weight again and my face is staying broke out and no acne medicine is working. My depression medicine isn't helping my anxiety and it hasn't helped me with my energy. I'm not sure how I get through the days as sluggish as I feel. I need to change my eating and stop drinking pop, drink water. Stay on a schedule with my medicine and don't forget it. I need to organize my time better. After finally breaking Bentley of his bottle and starting him in his big boy spiderman bed, I feel overwhelmed knowing that we have to tackle potty training next:( being a mommy the work really never ends and the same can be said for a college student. And I need a job but I can't find one that pays and work around my school schedule and Bentley's head start schedule.

An overwhelmed, struggling mommy and college student.

TAG Get to know me

1. Are you named after anyone?

I have the same middle name as my mom, Renae, only I spell mine differently (it was misspelled on my birth certificate soo). As for my first name my dad picked it out, not sure why, he always told me I was named after a can of beer and a set of dice :/ (Candice)

2. When was the last time you cried?

Sunday morning

3. Do you have kids?

Yes, one son Bentley who will be 2 next month!

4. If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself?

Duh. I'm awesome. But no really I would.

5. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Its like a second language

6. Will you ever Bungee Jump?

No. I'm afraid of heights and I could never do anything that crazy!

7. What's your favorite cereal?

Count chocula!

8. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Obviously their look

9. What is your eye colour?

Brown

10. Scary movie or happy endings?

Both! I do love scary movie especially this time of year

11. Favorite smells?

Holister SoCal cologne and Abercrombie & Fitch Fierce. Tanning lotion, like coconuts! The salt water of the beach. Fresh clean clothes, rainstorms in the summer..

12. Summer or winter?

Haha Niether, I hate being hot and I hate being cold. I like Fall.

13. Computer or television?

Television. I'm always on my phone anyway

14. What's the furthest you've ever been from home?

Canada

15. Do you have any special talents?

Nope  

16. Where were you born?

Jacksonville, FL on June 15, 1988

17. What are your hobbies?

Watching tv, reading, eating, sleeping, playing with my son 

18. Do you have any pets?

I have two cats, kitty or Tomcat, and boots

19. Favorite movie?

Hmmm. Love Actually, Blow, or Hocus Pocus

20. Do you have any siblings?

One sister and one brother. My sister is 22, my brother is 17.

The Downfall of us All

Bentley's dad and I broke up this past weekend. The first two days were all fighting. I wanted to break up because all we did is fight and he felt the same way. What really got me was that he had been texting this girl that he cheated on me with for a month and then the day we broke up he stayed the night with her and slept with her. The next day he moved in with her. So I did not want him to take Bentley or have him around that girl. We can get along about everything else just not that, he doesnt see it as a big deal, but to me it is. I'm just lost.

Tired

Tired of fighting, stressing, hating, being a bitch. Im tired of staying with someone when he doesnt even try to make me happy and blames all our problems on me. I cant help i have no sex drive, when all we do is fight i cant get aroused after that. When he says hurtful things like i used to be a slut and shit, i cant have sex with him after that, all i wanna do is kick him in the mouth. Im so tired of everything being made out to be my fault, bc im a bitch and im hateful. Im just tired of it.

Im tired of my boyfriends brother sleeping on our coach bc he has no friends to stay with and wont apologize to his parents for being lazy and unconsiderate. Im tired of being in a bad mood all day bc i never have any privacy. Im tired of my mom having to feed him when she can barely feed me and my boyfriend. Im tired of my brother having to stay in his treatment program and HIS brother gets to stay at MY MOMS house.

IM TIRED!

Weight gain

Ok so ever since I got laid off I've been eating all the time! Like I can't stop! I need to start working out and eating healthy and less. But I feel like I am too lazy to work out lol and I don't have the will power to quit eating:( something has to give. I've never been this big in my life!